It's complicated

Yes, indeed. My relationship is complicated. Do I stay? Do I move on? Is it him? Is it me? Are there any more chances for me? Do I have to be happy or is happiness over-rated? Is unhappiness a red flag  or yellow flag? I am not in love with him. I am quite annoyed by him, in fact. Yet again, the man in my life embarrasses me. Did I chose him because I was desperate;  because I don't feel worthy of generosity; because I refuse to let go of my father's emotional abuse and control; because I am a doormat? I am returning to my old pattern of passive aggression and craving freedom. I am also still afraid to make demands or even just consideration. I feel unworthy of anything, anyone, better. We clash. I too often mute my feelings and thoughts, keeping them inside where they fester and swell. Why am I doing this again? I have relinquished my independence again as I fall into the expectation that "daddy" would always take care of me... but at a high cost to my personal happiness. Do I weigh the pros and cons and tally the data to see where the scale tilts? Not much in life comes without a price in some form. I feel disconnected from him, both platonically and romantically. I am withdrawing. I am not sure I can make this work. He is not a bad person and he means well. But, so was my father and he deeply injured me. I am not sure about what I should do; I am paralyzed.