I feel like I've fallen into a trap and trying to figure out who's the jailer. I wish I could blame it on him, however the truth is I've incarcerated myself. I am the one who's been digging the hole in order to hide from the truth and deny reality.
There isn't a whole lot of joy down in that darkness, in the pit of my belly. I live in the pretence that everything is just okay. I am afraid to communicate my unhappiness. That's the way it was done in my family when I was growing up. We were scared to speak our minds so we retreated into our dark holes and kept digging deeper and further away. We co-existed, but we rarely touched one another. This is a way of living I am loathe to admit I still practice... even though I know better.
Part of my journey is to set myself free to be myself and enjoy healthy relationships. I want to climb out and live in the sunlight.
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